Tõsiasi on, et olles kuulanud paari nädala jooksul läbi Mansoni uue albumi olen ma saanud aasta teise suure muusikapettumuse osaliseks. Ei saa päris vist öelda et The high end of low oli sama halb kui Depeche Mode’i Sounds of the universe, aga ega ta palju parem ka ei olnud. Kui enne tegi mees vihast muusikat, mis kutsus üles mässama võimu vastu, siis praegu on tegu nagu rohkem vanamehega kellele on konstantselt liiga tehtud ja kes selle üle lihtsalt halab. Kohutavalt tempotu ja sõnade poolest nõrk ning seetõttu on kadunud ka kõik need head asjad, mille pärast mulle kohati meeldis teda kuulata. Kurb. Sellepärast ongi ilus lõpetada hiilgeajal, mitte oma kuulsust liialt lüpsta. Ühesõnaga, stop doing that.
Vastukaaluks sellele olen avastanud enda jaoks uuesti BO albumi Foiled, ning täpsemalt laulu Sound of Pulling Heaven Down. Teised asjad, mis on non-stop viimasel ajal arvutist kõlanud on Milow – Ayo Technology, mis on lihtsalt wow ja Linkin Park – In Pieces, ning tahes tahtmata liigun ma tänaval ringi nüüd neid ümisedes.
I’ve only got two words about the weekend – BUBBLE BATH
Meeli, you better start using your public blog, otherwise we’re going to be quite pissed here in Tallinn.
I’m actually not looking forward to today’s events as we kind of have to hold hands with the little children. This I’m afraid is bad as I quite simply hate children by which I mean that I’d rather hold hands with monkeys than them. This is actually the first time since 1st grade that I’m actually nervous about going to school. Weird.
Hi everybody, once again, it’s your favourite blogger and this entry is to interupt the month-long silence. For that, I have several good reasons. First of all I have been out of town for most of the last four weeks. It has quite literally been a time of epiphanies and revelations to me. What better place is there to really do some soul-searching (yes, I know, it sounds quite… hmmm… weird) than a small cottage some 250 km away from all the fuss. It’s quite simply brilliant. Furthermore, the job seems to be becoming more and more okay by the minute. The only problem with it is that the materials haven’t arrived as they were supposed to and thus our stay here has been prolonged…. by about two weeks, which is bad.
I discovered that I’m quite useless without the constant company of friends. Okay I know, Suido is also here, but I want Mike and Marie. Anyway, I’m becoming increasingly homesick despite the soul-searching. I have to also mention that apparently when Marie is sober, she’s always right. Just an example, “The Picture of Dorian Gray” was utterly wonderful, Marie said it – I didn’t believe her, I was wrong. Simple as that.
Just saw the most brilliant sentence in a movie. “Is a French man a man? – Yes. – Then why doesn’t he talk like one? Just because you have been taught something doesn’t mean it’s right.” came from the Adventures of Huckelberry Finn. Children are taught to be xenophobic from quite an early age these days, or what?
Yeah, well I’ll be back on Friday, hopefully, and then it’s almost time for the bike tour. Concerning that, if someone knows how to get a bike to Virtsu, you’re more than welcome to share your knowledge. Anyway, see you all soon
Tallinn, Lossi plats. Here stands the beautiful historicist Alexander Nevsky cathedral. It faces the parliament with the same sort of rage the parliament faces it. Here they stand: two of the most important things to people throughout history – state and church. Both of them seeming the opposites to one another, I don’t know about others, but at least to me. It seems that they get along quite nicely, being next door to each other, even if one of them is Orthodox, but come to think about it, aren’t they just the two sides of a coin? What’s the actual difference between nationality and religious confession? Is there any?
But come to think about it there actually isn’t, now is there. Both of these notions rely on one single aspect – people wanting to identify themselves. Well, even thoroughly atheist Voltaire said that, if god didn’t exist one would have to make it up- because ordinary people are weak. No, they are sheep, dancing to the music of a great master , no matter whether it’s a so called “god” or a dictator and the wicked thing about democracy is the fact that people are made to believe that they run the things in the country. They are their own masters who don’t take shit from anybody. But they really aren’t. Probably we all have our invisible white whales to conquer. Atheists, who are at the same time patriots, are the dumbest of them all. Wow, I can’t actually say that I’ve said something like that to myself before, but nevertheless, they think of themselves as something better. We are the people who don’t really buy the bullshit the churches are spreading. But, eh, nothing wrong with a little bit of egoism. Well, the thing is, that if patriotism and religiousness are essentially the same, then we have been the biggest jackasses since the communists. Oh damn! The communists, or at least the ones in the Soviet Union were atheists too. And well, glory of the union was important, or wasn’t it. Well probably the state wasn’t as important as it is to me, today, but nevertheless we are as plain stupid as they were.
How have I wanted to identify myself. Well first off, I’ve always known that I’m caucasian. No surprise there, because well this is more of a subconscious factor. I’m sorry, but I detest all of you folks, who when things turn sour, hope for a deus ex machina. The truth for them is that there never will be one. There are coincidences and anybody who seeks with all one’s mind a bigger reason or a religious explanation is a dumb frick. Well, I’m not racist or xenophobe, but I’ve always had this strong connection with my country. Estonia, I suppose has been everything for me. Starting from my childhood dreams of representing my state in a sporting competition of a sort, but that ain’t special, now is it. It is common to want to be at the Olympic Games as a participator. I’ve been raised to be an ultimate patriot. I’m willing to die for my country in a war, were it to make a difference. Why?! Why am I willing to give up everything else that’s important to me just to make the rest of the people in Estonia happy? And this is the thing I cannot explain. Perhaps it’s love, perhaps it’s just the fact that all these years, when I thought that I knew everything I needed, I didn’t actually know jack squat. And here’s the inside scoop, I cannot bring any valid arguments, why nationality is a value in itself. Perhaps I’m just dumb, perhaps there just aren’t any, but nevertheless the reasons, if there are any, aren’t that obvious.
Well there’s proof almost anywhere, take history for example. Come to think about it, the decline of the church and the rise of nationality was at the same time. Enlightenment brought us sort of a new rationality. When renaissance was basically individual-based then this wonderful era gave us the viewpoint of the society, which we debaters use perhaps even too much. Enlightenment started the national awakening in Europe which meant that religion was being replaced by state. As the Industrious Revolution urbanised most of Europe, the connection with the state became more direct and important. Thus isn’t it semi-obvious?
So religion, why do people believe in god? Why do people need to believe that their lives are controlled by a higher force, an old man with a beard, or even perhaps with a turban. Religion is a way, just like nationality, to identify oneself. To belong to a community. But is it a value in itself. Yes? Rubbish! Religion is just like nationality, in the sense that it would perhaps be a lot better for all the people in the world if there would be only one.
Conflicts and what for? For the state? For one’s god? Come on, that just isn’t any good now is it? There actually isn’t a difference between the Islamic terrorists and 1917 Estonian freedom-fighters. They are all willing to die for an ideology, which is as abstract and far from the physical happiness of an individual as it gets. So it is that neither religion nor nationality really give anything to a person. It just makes them sort of happy, make them feel connected and not alone. Perhaps that is what we really need in life. Oh, this goes well with my favourite quote from John Donne “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent”, and so it is. Nobody can manage without the help of others, and the sensation of being a part of a community is quite simply vital to all of us.
This probably means that I’m split inside. Believing in the necessity of nationality and at the same time denying or rather hating everyone who believes in god makes me hate a part of myself. If religion and nationality really are so similar then I have all these years loved something I actually hate. And is it worth it?
